Like any modern corporation, when we make a mistake, we lie like hell. But sometimes, for internal matters, we must find innocent parties to blame. So recently we sent out an internal memo. It was meant for our Energy Research Division, but unfortunately we also copied our Fashion Division, our Ministry of Virtue and Vice, […]
Category: Late Stage Capitalism
WLBOTT recently held a focus group, trying to determine what species would dominate Planet Earth after humans succumb to their foibles, flaws, faults, failings, frailties, and general feet of clay. Some possible candidates: For 99.9 per cent of the history of life on Earth, the planet has managed perfectly well without human-style intelligence and if […]
WLBOTT has been training unemployed pagan priestesses to become Door Dash drivers. This program has been an incredible success (in the sense that we get a massive tax write-off). Trainees Fully Employed Addition Hospitality Skills Needed Crew Chief Trainees Employee of the Month: Lady MacBeth
Nothing beats the enthusiasm of returning to the WLBOTT headquarters after a refreshing and recharging holiday. What a great year lays in store for us! Carpe Diem!!!! Greeting from Corporate “Get back to work.” A Message from our CEO “Get back to work.” Educational Opportunities Await You at WLBOTT HR Department: Here to Serve You […]
[thanks to UC#3 for today’s BLOTT topic] Dear UC#4 – excellent idea. But if the pandemic taught us anything, we can’t be dependent on supply chains and we must be flexible in our product requirements. Thus, I introduce a two part concept: 1 – Expand the definition of ‘twine’ to include ‘rope’ – aka ‘trope’. […]
The children of WLBOTT twine production workers were invited to frolicking day of fun and presents! Santa was in a bit of a mood, though….
For those of you who missed yesterday’s WLBOTT board meeting, the board voted 27 ⅐ to 3 (with 19 abstentions) to enter the lucrative Corporate Nap Pod market. Late Stage Capitalism Analysis Our WLBOTT marketing team thought that naps were the one thing that couldn’t be monetized. Wrongo-Bongo! Medical Recommendation Sleep deprivation costs the U.S. […]
Categories
A Computer Blessing
It’s interesting when doing a Google search for “computer blessing”, the results are almost always paired with “curse”. Something to ponder. But it’s a great day at WLBOTT headquarters. After years and years of being under the oppressive thumb of Spectrum, we are now surfing with Google fiber. It took a full half hour to […]
Categories
Price Courage
The New York Times has an interesting article on the “Price Courage” of huge corporate poultry processors – they had the gizzards and guts and gumption to band with their fellow middle men to refuse wage increases to their workers and unilaterally raise the price of chickens. And of course, this being ‘Merica, they got […]
We came upon an interesting phrase in yesterday’s BLOTT: the “library of last recourse”. In the context of the Boston Public Library, this means “all adult residents of the state are entitled to borrowing and research privileges”. But it can also have a darker meaning. A University of Alabama research project uses the phrase in […]