Prior to the digital era, mankind had to resort to various iffy techniques for divining God’s will:
- Examining entrails (Haruspicy). Drawbacks: icky and smelly, donors not too happy about their participation
- Tea leaves (Tasseography). Drawbacks: doesn’t work with Diet Dr. Pepper
- Coin flips (i-ching). Drawbacks: shows a lack of understanding of statistics and probability
- Astrology. Drawbacks: last refuge of the flake, even to this day
- Dream Interpretation (Oneiromancy). Drawbacks: does passing out count?
- Necromancy (Communicating with the Dead): Drawbacks: the dead mostly just complain and anything and everything
But now we live in the age of reason.
Come on, people, this is the 20th 21st century! So…. in the past we were confined to reading tea leaves, chicken entrails (ewww), gazing at the stars…. to divine the future.
WLBOTT has developed a reliable and scientific system for divination:
- the Random button on Wikipedia.
- BSOD-omancy’—a modern divination using computer errors
- The Spotify Oracle
- Printeromancy: The Art of Printer Error Divination
Printeromancy: The Art of Printer Error Divination
**Paper Jam**: Are you stuck or blocked in your life? This could suggest you need to address what’s holding you back.
Whether it’s a paper jam, low ink warning, or bizarre error code—pay close attention.
Semi-Sequitur: PC LOAD LETTER
A printer error message has its own Wikipedia page. This is like the Programmers’ Hall of Fame.
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/PC_LOAD_LETTER
Shuffle-ology: the Spotify Random Playlist Oracle
The first song that plays is your answer. Pay attention to the lyrics, the song title, or even the mood of the music to interpret its meaning.
Good News
- Anything by The Carpenters
- Good Vibrations
- Here Comes the Sun
- Joy to the World
Bad News
- The Wreck of the Edmund Fitzgerald
- Dirty Deed Done Dirt Cheap
- I Hate Myself for Loving You – Joan Jet
- Eve of Destruction
Ambiguous News
- Let It Be
- The entire “Weird” Al catalog
- I Am the Walrus
- You Can’t Always Get What You Want
BSOD-omancy: Divining the Blue Screen of Death
Wikiomancy: the Random Wikipedia Article
The Elders of WLBOTT have determined that Wikiomancy, or divining the future via random Wikipedia articles, can provide shareholder value.
Wikipedia: Random
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Wikipedia:Random
Let’s Get Nerdy
Wikipedia has an interesting article about various records related to its web site.
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Wikipedia:Wikipedia_records
Wikipedia is a Buzz Kill
They are not admitting to supernatural powers, but this is what you’d expect them to say, right?
Prepare to have your Mind Blown:
And a Final Note about Wikipedia….
Is the WLBOTT Legacy endangered? Is WLBOTT in danger of missing out on this important title?
At some point, we will need a WLBOTT Wikipedia article. Comments? Concerns? Criticisms? Volunteers?
Shuffle-ology: Is Your Relationship in Trouble?
How do you relate to this video? How many times can you loop this video until your spousal unit tells you to knock it off? Let us know in the comments.
One reply on “Goodbye Chicken Entrails, Hello WLBOTT!”
[…] you may recall, Wikiomancy (https://www.wlbott.com/?p=34495), or divining the future via random Wikipedia articles, can provide shareholder value, excellent […]