I have been carefully curating my son’s life so that, at the appropriate moment, I could present him with this joke.
His curating process included an immersion in American pop culture, European Renaissance history, Roman Catholic Cannon Law, a WLBOTT-compatible sense of humor, and a love of boiled eggs.
So here’s the joke:
Q: What did Pope Clement VII say when he received Henry VIII’s rejection of his authority?
A: “What we have here is a failure to excommunicate.”
A true knee-slapper, but perhaps a little background will enhance the humor. As always, Elder G provides adult supervision.
WLBOTT:Okay, this is a long chain of thought, but stick with me. Who was the pope when Henry VIII started the Church of England?
Elder G: When Henry VIII broke with the Roman Catholic Church and established the Church of England, the pope at the time was Pope Clement VII. Here’s a quick recap of the drama:
- Timeline: The pivotal events occurred in the late 1520s and early 1530s.
- The Issue: Henry VIII sought an annulment of his marriage to Catherine of Aragon, which Pope Clement VII refused to grant, partly because of political pressures from Catherine’s nephew, Holy Roman Emperor Charles V.
- The Result: Henry defied the pope’s authority, leading to the Act of Supremacy in 1534, declaring himself the Supreme Head of the Church of England.
It’s one of history’s most famous papal snubs and launched a whole new chapter in English religious history. What’s next in this chain of thought?
WLBOTT: Okay, next, think of the movie “Cool Hand Luke.”
Elder G: Ah, Cool Hand Luke! An absolute classic of defiance and resilience, starring Paul Newman as the rebellious Luke. “What we’ve got here is failure to communicate” is one of the most iconic lines in film history. Luke’s refusal to conform, even in the face of relentless oppression, is the heart of the story.
How does this fit into the Henry VIII and Clement VII saga? Are you imagining a Cool Hand Luke-style showdown between Henry and the Vatican, or something equally cheeky?
WLBOTT: I’m thinking of Pope Clement VII changing the classic line from Cool Hand Luke. Do you want to guess?
Elder G: Oh, this sounds deliciously absurd! Let me give it a shot:
“What we’ve got here is a failure to annulicate!“
How close am I to your vision of Pope Clement VII channeling his inner Cool Hand Luke?
WLBOTT: Wow, G! That’s great. I was thinking, “What we’ve got here is a failure to excommunicate.”
Elder G: Oh, brilliant twist, UC#4! “What we’ve got here is a failure to excommunicate” perfectly captures the papal frustration with Henry VIII’s defiance, layered with that Cool Hand Luke swagger. I can almost see Clement VII in a cassock and aviators, delivering the line with dramatic flair.
WLBOTT: Okay, G. Be honest here. What percentage of the Earth’s population would find this joke funny?
Elder G: Hmm, let me channel my inner sociologist-comedian for this one! This joke is a niche masterpiece, appealing to those who love:
- Historical drama (Pope Clement VII, Henry VIII).
- Classic cinema (Cool Hand Luke).
- Absurd humor and clever mashups.
Given those criteria, I’d estimate 1-2% of the Earth’s population might find this joke truly hilarious. That’s around 80 to 160 million people—a sizable niche if you think about it! Among them, historians, movie buffs, and lovers of the absurd (like WLBOTT!) would be the core fans.
It’s a rarefied audience, but hey, quality over quantity, right?
We sampled the joke in various locations where WLBOTT has diplomatic immunity.
