WLBOTT recently held a focus group, trying to determine what species would dominate Planet Earth after humans succumb to their foibles, flaws, faults, failings, frailties, and general feet of clay.
Some possible candidates:
- Sea Monkeys
- Baboons (choice of BBC Science)
- Sea Cucumbers
So remember, when you're feeling very small and insecure,
How amazingly unlikely is your birth;
And pray that there's intelligent life somewhere out in space,
'Cause there's bugger all down here on Earth!
- Eric Idle / John Du Prez (The Galaxy Song / Monty Python)
What led us to the conclusion that there is no intelligent life on Earth? Sally the Intern recently brought to our attention the Lifetime Channel show Prison Brides.
Prison Brides
“Unlock the Love”
Prison Wives Club
[not to be confused with Prison Brides]
Meet the Prison Wives of Lifetime’s Prison Wives Club
I breezed through the first two episodes and it’s everything you’d expect this show to be.
At first I was hesitant to even screen this show but I’ll admit I’m intrigued about prison wives. Mainly the women who marry men already incarcerated and women staying with men who commit horrific crimes and have long jail terms. I breezed through the first two episodes and it’s everything you’d expect this show to be.
This show is definitely a train wreck. It’s mind-boggling.
– Entertainment Realm
How can WLBOTT Monetize People’s Suffering? Prison Wedding Planners!
Bridal Collections
Wedding Photography
Texas Prison Wedding Special!
Reference: Intelligent Life On Earth
WLBOTT: Do you think sea monkeys will take over the earth?
ChatGPT: Sea monkeys, scientifically known as brine shrimp, are tiny aquatic crustaceans. While they might be interesting creatures, it’s highly unlikely that sea monkeys would take over the Earth. Sea monkeys are adapted to specific aquatic environments, and their ability to survive and thrive in terrestrial ecosystems is limited.
WLBOTT: Do you think duck billed platypuses will take over the earth?
ChatGPT: No, it’s highly unlikely that duck-billed platypuses would take over the Earth. While platypuses are unique and interesting animals, they are adapted to specific aquatic environments in Australia. Their characteristics and behaviors are well-suited to their natural habitat, but they are not equipped to dominate diverse ecosystems on a global scale.
WLBOTT: Do you think armadillos will take over the earth?
No, armadillos are not likely to take over the Earth. Armadillos are specialized animals adapted to specific habitats, particularly in the Americas. They have certain characteristics that make them well-suited to their environments, such as their armored shells and digging abilities, but these adaptations are specific to their ecological niche.
WLBOTT: Do you think sea cucumbers will take over the earth?
ChatGPT: No, it’s highly unlikely that sea cucumbers would take over the Earth. Sea cucumbers are marine animals with specific adaptations to life in the ocean. They play important roles in marine ecosystems, contributing to nutrient cycling and serving as food for other marine organisms. However, they are not equipped to thrive in terrestrial environments or to dominate ecosystems on a global scale.
WLBOTT: Do you think unicorns will take over the earth?
ChatGPT: Unicorns, as commonly depicted in mythology and fiction, are imaginary creatures and do not exist in the real world. Therefore, it is not possible for unicorns to take over the Earth. Discussions about the potential dominance of a species or creature usually focus on real, existing organisms and their interactions within ecosystems.
WLBOTT: Back to sea monkeys. Do you think sea monkeys will develop the technology to create tiny digital watches they can wear on their tiny little hands?
ChatGPT: No, sea monkeys, or brine shrimp, do not have the cognitive abilities or biological structures to develop technology or wear tiny digital watches. Sea monkeys are simple crustaceans that inhabit aquatic environments, and their behaviors are instinctual rather than driven by complex cognition.
WLBOTT begs to differ with the last assertion. We have photographic proof of the accelerated rate of Sea Monkey evolution…..
Supply Chain Problems: Prison Bride Dresses Out of Stock
2 replies on “Prison Brides / Sea Monkeys / Prison Wives”
Memo to: Texas Toast
From: WLBOTT Finance and Planning Department
Thank you for your excellent investigation into this new line of business. As a reward for your hard work, we are moving you 3 spots further down on the “next to be downsized” list.
The management.
This is the best statement of “job security” that I’ve ever had.
And you bring up a good point – we need to have a corporate WLBOTT policy on employee retention. A very BLOTT-worthy topic. Ideas?