Funny Funny

Today we honor my Mom’s life by celebrating her Irish sense of humor!

---

World’s Funnies Joke

What do you call a gas explosion in a Paris Color Tile?

Linoleum Blown Apart.

---

Shamelessly liberated from Bored Panda, the Interwebs, et. al.

---

A very rich man was on his death bed and called together his three trusted advisors, his priest, his doctor, and his attorney.

He told them that he knew he could take his wealth with him when he died. To prove it, he gave each one $500,000 in cash and told them to put it in an envelope and place it in his coffin at his funeral.

After the funeral the three of them went out for a drink and started to talk about the strange request their friend made.

The priest said that he knew that he could not take with him and the church needed a new roof. He said, “I got the roof repaired and had $100,000 left and that was the amount he put in the envelope.”

The doctor said that he also knew that his friend could not take it with him and said, “the children’s hospital needed $450,000 to finish building the new wing so I only had $50,000 dollars, and left the that amount in the envelope. My friend will never know and think about all the good that the hospital will do.”

The attorney said, “I am ashamed of both of you. You violated the trust that our friend placed in us. I put in a check for the full amount.”

---

---

An American couple are driving through Canada and stop at a gas station to fuel up. As the man goes into the station to pay, his wife calls out to him, “ask them where we are!” So the husband walks in, pays and asks, “by the way, where are we?” To which the attendant answers, “Saskatoon, Saskatchewan.” The man goes back to his car and the wife asks, “where are we?”

“He doesn’t speak English” replies the husband.

---

A man enters a cafe and sits at a table.

A waitress asks for his order.

“One coffee, please, without cream,” he replies.

The waitress responds, “I’m sorry, but you’ll have to take it without milk; we haven’t any cream”.

---