Preparation: WLBOTT

At WLBOTT, we take the end of the world seriously. There are some exceptional profit opportunities to be made from people’s suffering, and we must think of shareholder value.

To this end, we have two plans:

Survival Compound in Idaho for Top Execs and their Administrative Assistants
Sponsorship of the Last-Ever Sporting Event: Catch-a-Nuke

Survival Compound in Idaho

Exciting day today at the WLBOTT compound, We United StandPride United Constitution Republic Spirit (WUS-PUCkRS). We received two 18-wheeler loads (54 pallets) of prepper food.

Unfortunately, there was an error in the order. What we received was:

2,700 bottles of Colloidal Silver^[1]. Brand Name: Red, White, and Blue Man Colloidal Silver
8,200 Emergency Whistles
9 pallets of salt (expires in 30 years)
14 pallets of freeze-dried cauliflower
17 Metric Tonnes of DeCaf Coffee
288 #10 cans of sour cream powder
8 pallets of generic food

The WLBOTT WUS-PUCkRS Warehouse

(undisclosed location in Idaho)

Here’s the survival warehouse. Note that we paid extra to get our survival supplies delivered in 55 gallon pop-top barrels.

WLBOTT Prepares

We are also releasing our own non-nutritive, non-medicial prepper product: Preparation W. It has no proven therapeutic value.

Marketing Ideas: Preparation W

Last-Ever Sporting Event

WLBOTT Sponsors the Last Ever Sporting Event: Catch-a-Nuke

Very few rules. Basically, when the sirens go off, grab a mitt and head downtown. Trophies will be distributed posthumously. A minimum 13 items of patriotic flair are required to prove you are sufficiently patriotic.

Calling All Alpha Men!

You guys were born for this! Grab your catcher’s mitt and get out there!

Refreshments

We’ve teamed up with the Proud Oaf Bottom-1-Percentiles to provide patriotic snacks for the event:^[2]

Liberty’s Pride Potato Chips
Star-Spangled Sparkling Soda
Freedom’s Flavored Ice Cream
Patriot’s Popcorn Extravaganza
Red, White, and Blueberry Pancake Mix
Land of the Free Lemonade
Stars and Stripes Snack Mix
American Dream Coffee Blend (decaf)
Uncle Sam’s Supreme Salsa
Justice and Liberty Jell-O
Spirit of ’76 Spicy Hot Sauce
Patriot’s Pecan Pie
United We Stand Sandwich Spread

^[2] While supplies last or until vaporization.

^[1]Colloidal Silver

Red, White, and Blue Man Colloidal Silver.

Paul Karason (November 14, 1950 – September 23, 2013) was an American from Bellingham, Washington, whose skin was a purple-blue color.

Karason was fair skinned and freckled until the early 1990s. Karason started taking colloidal silver after his friend developed petroleum poisoning. Karason started taking it for sinusitis, dermatitis, acid reflux, and other issues. This caused him to develop argyria, leading to his skin turning blue. In 2008, Karason first gained prominence after appearing on Today. He claimed it cured his acid reflux and arthritis.

Karason moved from Oregon to the California Central Valley community Madera in the summer of 2007 seeking greater community acceptance. He described himself as somewhat of a recluse. By 2012, Karason lost his home while battling a heart condition and prostate cancer. He later moved to a homeless shelter in Bellingham, Washington.

In 2013, Karason died after a heart attack led to pneumonia and a severe stroke. He was a heavy smoker and underwent a triple bypass surgery in 2008. He was estranged from his wife at the time of his death. Karason continued to use colloidal silver until his death.
Wikipedia

Pathophysiology

In humans and other animals, chronic intake of silver products commonly leads to gradual accumulation of silver compounds in various parts of the body. As in photography (where silver is useful because of its sensitivity to light), exposure of pale or colorless silver compounds to sunlight decomposes them to silver metal or silver sulfides. Commonly these products deposit as microscopic particles in the skin, in effect a dark pigment. This condition is known as argyria or argyrosis.

Chronic ingestion or inhalation of silver preparations (especially colloidal silver) can lead to argyria in the skin and other organs. This is not life-threatening, but is considered by most to be cosmetically undesirable.
Wikipedia

Dumplings?

However, as medical staff wiped alcohol over her skin following the injection, they realised the real cause – believing the colour from Malin’s trousers had rubbed onto her skin. She said: “The doctors first thought it was severe and a really special case.

She claims the pants in question were a pair of high-waisted velvet leggings, purchased from online retailer Shein for £8.99 back in November. She believes the funny incident happened after she wore them recently.
The Mirror