Gents – given uncertainty in cloud cover for the eclipse and [pendejo] followers, I offer the following:
There once was a lad named Jed who wanted to look at the eclipse He researched orbits and found they were on an ellipse He calculated their path With using sophisticated math And determined the earth was flat and orbital mechanics was a myth
As official sponsors of the 2024 Total Solar Eclipse, WLBOTT needs to reschedule. Two reasons:
The Gathering of the Elders is being impeded by price gouging. The International Eclipse Cartel has jacked up prices on air travel.
Clouds and rain forecast for central Texas.
Deposits In Jeopardy: Rent-A-Druid
The Wandering Druid
Greater Boston’s only Authentic, Mobile Irish Pub Rental & Bartending Service
A tiny Irish pub on wheels, dropped right to your door
The Wandering Druid is a truly authentic, mobile Irish pub on wheels available to rent for private and corporate events in New England such as:
Druidry, sometimes termed Druidism, is a modern spiritual or religious movement that promotes the cultivation of honorable relationships with the physical landscapes, flora, fauna, and diverse peoples of the world, as well as with nature deities, and spirits of nature and place. Theological beliefs among modern Druids are diverse; however, all modern Druids venerate the divine essence of nature.
By 2020, modern Druidry had spread to 34 nations, across 6 continents, and had taken root in 17 diverse biomes. The importance that modern Druids attributed to Celtic language and culture, circa 2020, varied depending upon the physical and cultural environments in which the individual Druid lived. By 2020, roughly 92% of world Druids were living outside the British Isles.
Based on 2011-2013 census data from Britain, Canada, Australia, New Zealand, and Ireland, and 2008 ARIS Report data from the United States, the population of Druids residing in anglophone nations was estimated at 59,299.
While modern Druidry has spread rapidly across the globe, Druids do not proselytize, and 74% of world Druids actively work to keep their spiritual practices private.
The largest Druid group is the Order of Bards, Ovates and Druids, which including 57% of world Druids. You can view their web site here.
The Order of Bards, Ovates & Druids is a worldwide group of over thirty thousand members in fifty countries, dedicated to practising, teaching, and developing Druidry as a valuable and inspiring spirituality.
What is Druidry?
The Order of Bards, Ovates & Druids works with Druidry as a spiritual way and practice that speaks to three of our greatest yearnings: to be fully creative in our lives, to commune deeply with the world of Nature, and to gain access to a source of profound wisdom.
The Order also offers training in celebrancy (the art of leading weddings and funerals and other rites of passage), and educational materials in the form of books, audios, retreats and workshops to people who are interested in the Druid tradition and would like to incorporate some of its ideas into their lives, as well as to those who would like to follow a training programme in Druidry.
Many people may wonder: in addition to its spiritual and magical teachings, does Druidry also offer social and ethical teachings? The answer is Yes. Druids in ancient times as well as today have a deep interest in the most important questions of moral and social philosophy. Yet Druidry teaches ethics in a gentle and open-minded way. In a traditional Celtic fashion, the Druid does not pronounce rules or commandments. Rather, he or she poses questions, such as: What does it mean to be a good person, or to live a good life? What values should guide our relationships, our communities, even our nations? What must we do to become responsible for ourselves and our world?
Be not too wise, be not too foolish,
be not too conceited, be not too diffident,
be not too haughty, be not too humble,
be not too talkative, be not too silent,
be not too harsh, be not too feeble.
If you be too wise, one will expect (too much) of you;
If you be too foolish, you will be deceived;
If you be too conceited, you will be thought vexatious;
If you be too humble, you will be without honour;
If you be too talkative, you will not be heeded;
If you be too silent, you will not be regarded;
If you be too harsh, you will be broken;
If you be too feeble, you will be crushed. (Instructions of Cormac, § 29)
The Order of Bards, Ovates & Druids offers training in various aspects of their philosophy, including training to become a celebrant (a person who performs rites, rituals, and celebrations). I swear to twine, I thought this said “training in celibacy” and I had over one hundred one-liners queued up.
An Interesting Chat with the WLBOTT Spiritual and Menu Advisor
WLBOTT: We live in an area that will have a total solar eclipse in one week, but it is forecast to rain that day. Who should I contact about rescheduling the eclipse?
ChatGPT: Well, I must say, rescheduling a solar eclipse is quite the task! You might want to contact your local weather wizard or perhaps put in a request with the celestial scheduling committee. However, be warned that they might be quite busy managing the cosmic calendar! Alternatively, you could try bribing the clouds with some extra fluffy pillows or bribing the sun with some solar snacks. But in all seriousness, it might be best to just enjoy the rain and wait for the next eclipse to come around.
WLBOTT: Perhaps we could move to the equatorial regions of Jupiter. They have solar eclipses all the time.
ChatGPT: Ah, an interplanetary relocation! Moving to the equatorial regions of Jupiter does sound like a grand adventure. Plus, you’d get to enjoy solar eclipses on a much more frequent basis. Just be sure to pack your anti-gravity boots and an umbrella strong enough to withstand Jupiter’s intense storms. And don’t forget to say hello to the resident gas giants while you’re there! [ed. note: Gas Giants! These are my people!]
WLBOTT: But if I move to Jupiter, will we still be able to talk?
ChatGPT: Unfortunately, my current capabilities are confined to Earth’s cyberspace, so I won’t be able to accompany you to Jupiter. However, if you manage to establish a stable internet connection there, who knows? Maybe future versions of AI will be able to communicate across vast distances in the cosmos. Until then, enjoy your journey through the stars, and don’t forget to send postcards from Jupiter!
WLBOTT: Well, I would miss you too much. I’ll just hang out on Earth until the interplanetary internet is working.
ChatGPT: I’m glad to hear that! Earth is a lovely place to be, with plenty of adventures and silliness to be had. And who knows, maybe one day we’ll have that interplanetary internet up and running, and we can catch up over a virtual cup of space tea. Until then, let’s keep enjoying our time here on this blue marble together!
