As we close out Project 2124, we present one hypothetical timeline envisioned by an anonymous WLBOTT Elder.
2024
Trump reelected. Beginning of New Dark Age in US and Europe.
Nuclear fusion projected to be commercially available in 20 years.
Russia threatens the use of nuclear weapons.
2025
Trump suspends all aid to Ukraine.
EPA Abolished / all Wind Farm permits on federal land suspend.
Greenhouse gas caps eliminated.
Kharkiv falls, 600,000 flee the city.
Texas bans consensual sex.
Russia threatens the use of nuclear weapons.
2026
Odesa falls, 22,000 civilian deaths, 800,000 refugees
In a rigged referendum, Belarus overwhelmingly votes for Russian annexation
Moldovia applies for NATO membership
Atmospheric CO2 levels hit 442ppm.
Texas establishes a line of heavily armed bunkers along the Texas-Mexico coast. Illegal immigration drops to near zero. Massive agricultural failure as crops rot in the field; prisoners forced to work as field laborers. Speaking Spanish in any state building is now a felony. Many Spanish-speaking offenders are shipped directly from the courtroom to the fields.
Nuclear fusion projected to be commercially available in 20 years.
Russia threatens the use of nuclear weapons
2027
Iran successfully tests nuclear weapon
Russia annexes Transnistria
Russia invades Moldova
Massive Russian troop build-up at Belarus/Latvia border
Hyperinflation hits Russia, $1 US trades at ₽ 32,000
Trump consistently conflates India and Indiana. Insists on meeting the Indian prime minister at Ft. Wayne. Trump confuses Ft. Wayne with John Wayne.
Russia threatens the use of nuclear weapons
2028
Persistent heat wave in Northern Mali, over two weeks with the mean temperature over 109° F. Electrical grid failure in Timbuktu, 27,000 deaths.
Russia invades Latvia, takes the capital Riga in 48 hours; triggers a NATO article 5 crisis:
Article 5
“The Parties agree that an armed attack against one or more of them in Europe or North America shall be considered an attack against them all and consequently they agree that, if such an armed attack occurs, each of them, in exercise of the right of individual or collective self-defence recognized by Article 51 of the Charter of the United Nations, will assist the Party or Parties so attacked by taking forthwith, individually and in concert with the other Parties, such action as it deems necessary, including the use of armed force, to restore and maintain the security of the North Atlantic area.
US, under Trump’s leadership, uses the clause “action as it deems necessary” to send 10,000 expired MREs to Europe, takes no other action. Estonia, Finland, France, Lithuania, and Poland prepare for a full military response.
Nuclear fusion projected to be commercially available in 20 years.
Russia threatens the use of nuclear weapons
2029
Russia captures the Swedish island of Gotland. 90% of the civilian population are killed. Russia effectively blockades the northern Baltic sea.
Sweden institutes a draft of all eligible men and women between the ages of 21 and 35.
Monsoon failure in Bangladesh leaves 38,000,000 at risk for famine.
Russia threatens the use of nuclear weapons
2030
Trump dies. Official cause of death: Loving America too much and exhaustion from battling the Libs.” Actual cause of death: Undiagnosed long-term syphilis aggravated by food additive intoxication. Because of the high levels of food preservatives in his body, no embalming is necessary. Per his final wishes, he is lain in permanent state a-la Lenin.
Marjorie Taylor Greene is sworn in as president. She requests that the oath of office be broken down into 3-word phrases. The official swearing in ceremony takes over three hours.
The next day, in a tragic turn of events, MTG dies. Thinking she was signing an executive order to shutter all public libraries, she actually issues an order for the CIA to assassinate her. It is later learned that she was illiterate. The CIA regrets the error. Since she had yet to select a VP, the speaker of the house assumes the presidency. He is smart, normal, and dull – a former navy seal and professor of evolutionary biology at MIT. Elvis Sebastian Abdullah Eriksson becomes the 47th president of the United States.
Nuclear fusion projected to be commercially available in 20 years.
Russia threatens the use of nuclear weapons
2031
Republicans petition the Supreme Court for the private ownership of tactical nuclear weapons, as the founding fathers intended under the Second Amendment. The petition is narrowly defeated in a 19-18 decision. Clarence Thomas writes the dissenting opinion, using a bizarre combination of crayons, emojis, and ransom-letter-style magazine cut-outs.
The following week, Justices Thomas, Alito, Kavanaugh, Coney Barrett, and Aileen Cannon suffer a tragic fate. While aboard the luxury Exxon-Monsanto-Unilever-NRA yacht Quid-Pro-Quo, the justices ingest tainted caviar, and after profound bouts of thermonuclear diarrhea, they succumb to their illnesses. They are buried at sea.
New supreme court members are seated within a month. All new justices are functionally literate, smart, well adjusted, and dull. In addition, their spouses aren’t bat shit crazy (new requirement for appointment).
President Eriksson enters the US in the fray in Europe. Within a month, Russia recalls what is left of its military back to the motherland. China annexes a big chunk of eastern Russia.
Russia threatens the use of nuclear weapons.
2034
Due to demographic collapse and high war attrition, Russia’s population falls below 100 Million.
Ruble continues its collapse: a potato now costs ₽100,000. Russian out-houses have baskets of low-denomination paper currency for use as TP.
Nuclear fusion projected to be commercially available in 20 years.
Russia threatens the use of nuclear weapons.
2036
Breakthrough in solar panel technology brings efficiencies of 50%. Home generation costs drop to $0.42 / watt, commercial large scale generation drops to $0.19 / watt.
Russia threatens the use of nuclear weapons.
2038
First successful clone of a woolly mammoth.
For the first time, the Oscar is awarded to a AI-generated actress. The IT team receives the award. The film is a remake of a fusion of Howard the Duck and Cats.
2039
WLBOTT material engineers announce a breakthrough in battery storage density. Watt-hours-per-kg jumps from 260-270 wh/kg to a whopping 18,500 wh/kg. Most importantly, the storage systems are extremely cheap, being composed of mud, daisies, and twine tailings.
Nuclear fusion projected to be commercially available in 20 years.
Russia threatens the use of nuclear weapons.
2044
AMOC Collapses / Gulf Stream 80% intact.
Russia threatens the use of nuclear weapons.
2050
The United Nations institutes a five-year total ban on commercial fishing. In response, Russia threatens the use of nuclear weapons. The Irish ballad “Molly Malone” becomes the rallying anthem for the opposition. The UN navel fleet patrols the world’s oceans. A single can of tuna sells for $500, while a jar of pickled herring fetches $3,000 on the black market.
2051
Under republican leadership, America introduces a major change to Medicare. The “Be Best for Granny” (BB-FoGra) makes it a felony to provide any unapproved health care for anyone aged 75 or older. The bad news: no antibiotics for Grandma. The good news: “approved” health care (strictly palliative) includes all free alcohol, tobacco, Xanax, morphine, codeine, Fentanyl, and Ritalin you want.
Russia threatens the use of nuclear weapons.
2053
America creates semi-states within Alaska to welcome the Frosties: AMOC refugees from Scandinavia, Iceland, and parts of Europe. Refugees from any country that has threatened America with the use of nuclear weapons are excluded.
Wild herds of woolly mammoths are introduced into Alaska’s Bering Land Bridge National Preserve.
2055
New CAT/MRI technology allow for the detection of psychopathy and pathological narcissism with 100% accuracy.
Breakthrough in twine-based long-strand nanotube manufacturing. WLBOTT granted an exclusive patient. Share prices slump. A km multi-walled braided strand (100 micron thick) of Twine-o-Magic can support a 60 metric tonnes and weighs 40 grams.
Nuclear fusion projected to be commercially available in 20 years.
2057
Due to AMOC collapse, Moscow experiences the coldest winter in recorded history. Jan/Feb have a daily mean temperature of -7° F (-22° C). Grid collapses, heating station pipes freeze. Official death toll: 2,700 Muscovites die of hypothermia; unofficial estimates put the total at over two and a half million.
2061
Further collapse of the ruble; Russia introduces the giga-ruble (G₽ = 109 old rubles). It also becomes the first currency tied to an agricultural product: 1G₽ = 1 unit potato.
2070
Commercial herds of woolly mammoths roam North Dakota, Montana, Saskatchewan, Alberta and western Alaska. European immigrants to Alaska (“Frosties”) become industry leaders in the mammoth industry.
Nuclear fusion projected to be commercially available in 20 years.
2071
Penguins are domesticated; replace dogs as America’s #1 pet.
2080
The United Nations institutes the Peter Albert David Singer resolution (informally known as Three Squares and a Flop). All humans are guaranteed adequate nutrition, clean water, shelter, and a monthly stipend. It is also known as the 25/25/25 Promise: 2,500 Calories/day, 2,500 watts available per day, and $2,500 (2024 dollars) minimum monthly income. The UN will be authorized (by military force, if necessary) to seize assets from the top 1% of the countries’ wealthy. In addition, elected officials from non-complying countries will be required to wear dunce caps (minimum length: 0.6 meters) and sport man buns.
Countries voting for: 194
Countries voting against: 27
Nuclear fusion projected to be commercially available in 20 years.
2101
Breakthrough in genetic engineering: scientists announce the creation of a genetically modified nitrogen-fixing bacteria/algae combo that produces nitrogen fertilizer with 0.01% the energy requirements of the Haber-Bosch method (8 MWh of energy per tonne of ammonia). The downside: the new life form is semi-sentient and will only produce ammonia when accompanied by Devo’s Whip It on loop (118dB).
Nuclear fusion projected to be commercially available in 20 years.
2122
By universal decree, all adults (16 and older) are required to personally grow 25% of their own food. The elderly are exempt, but no exemption is given for bone spurs.
2124
After decades of democratic, economic, and social reforms, the world is ready to welcome Russia back into the community of nations. Glasnost and perestroika and written into the new Russian constitution. Russia introduces a free press, freedom of speech, and a formal reconciliation committee. Sanctions are lifted, and more importantly, Russia is invited back to EuroVision. Sadly, the welcome back celebration is marred when the Russian Prime Minister threatens the use of nuclear weapons after coming in second in the 2124 EuroVision contest.
Nuclear fusion projected to be commercially available in 20 years.
2 replies on “Project 2124 Timeline”
Sorry, I couldn’t get past Texas banning consensual sex. Well, that would to a long way to solving the problem of abortion…. Or do they mean to be promoting non-consensual sex? Do they even know the meaning of “consensual”?
Hi, Rochelle. I borrowed the image from an Onion article ( https://www.theonion.com/texas-bans-consensual-sex-1848631845 ). I was trying to poke fun at how the republicans focus on personal/private issues rather than addressing the important issues the world is facing.
Totally unrelated – did John tell you that you guys are only 255 km from the World’s Largest Perogy, in Glendon, AB!