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Adventures of the Elders Collapse of Democracy/Civilization/etc. Sticking It To The Man WLBOTT Corporate

Our VP Pick: Will Bott

Gentle people- since announcing the Kamala Harris – Will Bott ticket, the press and social media has been down my neck for a bio on a relatively unknown candidate, Will Bott.

I have only met him twice and it was under very secure circumstances. So, this is all I know about Will Bott:

Through family wealth from his family’s twine business, he hasn’t needed to work. He mainly spends his time supporting liberal causes thru donations but does volunteer work at the rehab center they have set up in Lancaster PA for Amish workers at the family twine factory that got lung disorders from inhaling twine dust at their factory.

He befriended Kamala at a fundraiser in the Napa Valley where he is trying to cultivate a fiber that will be ‘free range, grass fed, non-GMO’ twine.

He is 54 years old and prefers the pronouns ‘them, they, dude’.

His lovely spouse, Forgetta Bott née It, is 24 years his senior. She uses the pronouns they, them, dudette. She likes to dress like Marie Antoinette and play guillotine roulette.

Note the rhyming alliteration: dudette / Antoinette / roulette

She occasionally plays mahjong over at the Thomas’, and does tequila shots and belly dancing with Clarence and Ginny.

They married when he was 17 and she was 41. Quite a lovely romance.

The Bott couple have numerous adult children, with very complicated back stories.

I ask UC#4 to put up a collaboration document where the elders can all contribute to his bio to fully flesh out his history.

Your humble servant,

UC#3

Gentle Blotts and Blottettes,

By an amazing coincidence, I happen to know Will Bott. By that I mean that I heard him at a medical conference. His biological research institute, Twine Biologics Corp, has developed a new messenger-RNA application that entwines a new protein with the lung cells that have been exposed to the latest Covid variant. The result is that the virus is stopped in its tracks, rendering the infected person miraculously healthy in a matter of hours.

The only side effects are the occasional expulsion of fibrous material (the remnants of the messenger-RNA twine entanglement) from the lungs. This material is non-contagious and other than a mild SO2 odor, completely harmless.

As for his suitability for president, I think you will find that he is sensitive to the feelings expressed by the “common person” that food costs and other expenses have gone up 20% over the last 3 years while wages have remained stable at best. This, and his obvious egghead traits should make him attractive to both sides of the political spectrum.

UC#1

Will Bott At the Debates

Bring ’em on!


Kamala & Will

The two have held many fruitful conversations lately.


Will Bott Hits the Campaign Trail

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