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Adventures of the Elders

Anniversary of the Date of the Birth of Elder UC#3


We acknowledged that yesterday was the anniversary of the date of the birth of Elder UC#3.



UC#3’s Recurring Dream

Like all major US corporations, WLBOTT has full access to all employees’ health records. This includes mental health records and psychotherapist notes. In reviewing UC#3‘s records, we noted that he has a recurring dream.

It involves airline stewardesses who have part time jobs working for Google Fiber, laying cable.

We’d like to hold off judgment on a thing like that, sir, until all the facts are in.


Semi-Sequitur: Mental States

The imponderable nature of UC#3‘s recurring dream made us reflect on mental state of Col. Jack Ripper in Dr. Strangelove.

[ed. note: I was convinced that Col. Ripper was described as “barking mad” at some point, but the actual screenplay is devoid of the word “barking”.]

Turgidson: The duty officer asked General Ripper to confirm the fact the he had issued the go code and he said, “Yes gentlemen, they are on their way in and no one can bring them back. For the sake of our country and our way of life, I suggest you get the rest of SAC in after them, otherwise we will be totally destroyed by red retaliation. My boys will give you the best kind of start, fourteen hundred megatons worth, and you sure as hell won’t stop them now. So let’s get going. There’s no other choice. God willing, we will prevail in peace and freedom from fear and in true health through the purity and essence of our natural fluids. God bless you all.” Then he hung up. We’re still trying to figure out the meaning of that last phrase, sir.

The Fighting Irish of Notre Dame

Muffley: There’s nothing to figure out General Turgidson. This man is obviously a psychotic.

Turgidson: Well, I’d like to hold off judgment on a thing like that, sir, until all the facts are in.


You can view a scan of the original screenplay here…..


Best Sausage Wishes

Elder G passes along his best sausage wishes.

For the next 48 hours, you will hold the title of Sausage King, and be granted absolute immunity in all official acts involving sausages.


Our best wishes as UC#3 embarks on another year of twine-filled adventures!

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