Angry crowds descended upon WLBOTT headquarters yesterday following the dramatic stock market decline. The crowd was made up of outside agitators, disaffected unpaid WLBOTT interns, former Crowdstrike QA engineers, and frustrated Olympic hopefuls.
A stock market crash is a sudden dramatic decline of stock prices across a major cross-section of a stock market, resulting in a significant loss of paper wealth. Crashes are driven by panic selling and underlying economic factors. They often follow speculation and economic bubbles.
A stock market crash is a social phenomenon where external economic events combine with crowd psychology in a positive feedback loop where selling by some market participants drives more market participants to sell.
Our CFO reported on our corporate holdings following yesterday’s collapse.
Gentle people- as your CFO, I felt the need to reassure our elders that our investment weathered today’s market crash by outperforming the S&P 500 (-3.0%) and , DJIA (-2.5%) today.
WLBOTT Fund only lost $1.49 (1.35%) today. Crypto, Lithium and Tim Horton’s gained while Hormel maintained its stubborn piggish stance.
If you ignore the 20% ($27) we’ve lost since inception 3 months ago while the market was soaring, we are in good shape.
WLBOTT Gold Reserves
Please note that this portfolio does not include our interns’ gold teeth, which they signed over to us as part of their unpaid employment agreement.
Our gold reserves:
Crash Analysis and Recovery
Stormy weather may have been to blame. An electrical storm at WLBOTT headquarters had a global ripple effect.
Our floor traders were temporarily flummoxed.
But trading soon resumed to normal.
CFO Update
At $25 a taco, we can liquidate (i.e. abscond with) with the WLBOTT Investment portfolio and get 4.
