We are very excited to introduce our latest WLBOTT employee, Tess Twinehart.
Tess will have two responsibilities at WLBOTT:
- Provide intense psychotherapy to the deeply disturbed upper management
- Write a periodic “Advice to the Lovelorn” column for our web site.
Our decision to hire Tess was inspired by the John Prine song Dear Abby:
Dear Abby, dear Abby,
My feet are too long
My hair’s falling out and my rights are all wrong
My friends they all tell me that I’ve no friends at all
Won’t you write me a letter, won’t you give me a call
Signed bewildered
Dear Abby, dear Abby,
My fountain pen leaks
My wife hollers at me and my kids are all freaks
Every side I get up on is the wrong side of bed
If it weren’t so expensive I’d wish I were dead
Signed unhappy
Dear Abby, dear Abby,
You won’t believe this
But my stomach makes noises whenever I kiss
My girlfriend tells me it’s all in my head
But my stomach tells me to write you instead
Signed noise-maker
Dear Abby, dear Abby,
Well I never thought
That me and my girlfriend would ever get caught
We were sitting in the back seat just shooting the breeze
With her hair up in curlers and her pants to her knees
Signed just married
Tess still keeps up with those young newlyweds!
Tomorrow we’ll share Tess’ impressive resume, how she came by the nickname “The Chicken Whisperer”, and the snarled and tangled path that led her to WLBOTT.
One reply on “Meet Tess Twinehart!”
Absolutely hilarious! You have to listen to the song while scrolling though the lyrics and pictures.