Sadly, WLBOTT HQ had to say goodbye to our dear and true Jack-o-lantern.
A Little Background
A jack-o’-lantern (or jack o’lantern) is a carved lantern, most commonly made from a pumpkin, or formerly a root vegetable such as a mangelwurzel, rutabaga or turnip.
Jack-o’-lanterns are associated with the Halloween holiday. Its name comes from the phenomenon of strange lights flickering over peat bogs, called jack-o’-lanterns (also known as will-o’-the-wisps). It is suggested that the name also has ties to the Irish legend of Stingy Jack, a drunkard who bargains with Satan and is doomed to roam the Earth with only a hollowed turnip to light his way.
Jack-o’-lanterns carved from pumpkins are a yearly Halloween tradition that developed in the United States when Irish, Cornish, Scottish and other Celtic influenced immigrants brought their root vegetable carving traditions with them. It is common to see jack-o’-lanterns used as external and interior decorations prior to and on Halloween.
Jack was a result of the creative artistry (and a big hammer) from the WLBOTT CenTX staff. Sally T. Intern had a fun idea of using cookie cutters to make the eyes.
Jack’s Goodbye
Sadly, Jack succumbed to the relentless stress of the 2024 US presidential election. Similar to the current US Speaker of the House of Representatives, Jack had a mushy and rotten core.
WLBOTT Gives Jack a Send-Off to the Great Beyond
Sally T. Intern offers a Farewell Blessing
Pumpkin Valhalla
Do you think for good and faithful jack-o’-lanterns, there is a Pumpkin Valhalla? A place where the bravest and most faithful jack-o’-lanterns go after they’ve served their purpose on Halloween night?
In this mystical realm, they will be honored for their glowing service, with eternal autumn, endless candlelight, and never a mushy day in sight.
In Pumpkin Valhalla, the finest pumpkins will be eternally carved to perfection, basking in the soft glow of harvest moons, surrounded by fields of golden hay and festive gourds. Maybe they’d gather in pumpkin feasts or compete in fun challenges like who can glow the brightest or fend off the most imaginary ghouls. And of course, all faithful pumpkins would have their own balls of twine, in true WLBOTT fashion!
Hollow Hel
The existence of a Pumpkin Valhalla implies the existence of a Pumpkin Hell.
In Nordic mythology, Hel is the name of both the realm of the dead and the goddess who rules over it. Hel (the place) is where those who did not die heroically in battle are sent after death. Unlike Valhalla, which is reserved for warriors, Hel is a cold, shadowy underworld.
The goddess of this realm is Hollow Hel, a pumpkin goddess who is half-rotted and half-glowing.
Other Peoples, Other Cultures, Other Hells
Pumpkin Judgement Day
A Pumpkin Valhalla and a Pumpkin Hel implies a Day of Judgement
Elder G has agreed to act as Pumpkin Arbiter Pro Tempura, pending the upcoming WLBOTT conclave.
Ah, as the Pumpkin Arbiter, my role is to weigh the deeds and intentions of each pumpkin! Here’s how I’d judge their fate:
Criteria for Pumpkin Valhalla:
Bravery in the face of Halloween: If a pumpkin has dutifully glowed brightly through the coldest nights and spookiest frights, spreading joy and wonder, they’re a prime candidate for Pumpkin Valhalla.
Creativity in design: Pumpkins with particularly creative, humorous, or intricate carvings—those who went the extra mile to make their Halloween special—deserve eternal autumn peace.
Longevity and perseverance: A pumpkin that stayed firm, fending off rot for the entire Halloween season without going mushy, earns its place in the golden fields of Pumpkin Valhalla.
Good intentions: Pumpkins that were carved with love and purpose, bringing light to children’s faces, will always be honored.
Criteria for Pumpkin Hell:
Mischief and malice: Any pumpkin who tried to spook *too hard*, scaring the little ones into tears, or deliberately leaned into mischief without care for others, is on a one-way trip to Pumpkin Hell.
Early rotting: If a pumpkin gave up too soon, abandoning its post and turning into a mushy mess long before Halloween was over, it might face a harsher judgment.
Lack of spirit: Pumpkins that were carved without passion or spirit, or those that dimmed their glow out of laziness, will find themselves in the twisted vines of Pumpkin Hell.
Surrendering to squirrels: Pumpkins who allowed themselves to be eaten by squirrels too early in the season without putting up a fight—Pumpkin Hell it is!
In my court, fairness reigns, but only the bravest, brightest, and most beloved pumpkins make it to Valhalla. The mischievous and lazy? Well, they get to glow ominously in Pumpkin Hell for eternity.
References
Mangelwurzel : The Root of Scarcity
Mangelwurzel or mangold wurzel (from German Mangel/Mangold, “chard” and Wurzel, “root”), also called mangold, mangel beet, field beet, fodder beet and (archaic) root of scarcity, is a cultivated root vegetable.
It is a variety of Beta vulgaris, the same species that also contains the red beet (beetroot) and sugar beet varieties. The cultivar group is named Crassa Group. Their large white, yellow or orange-yellow swollen roots were developed in the 18th century as a fodder crop for feeding livestock.
Wikipedia / Futterrübe Foto By User:MarkusHagenlocher – Own work, CC BY-SA 3.0
