WLBOTT has a mission to keep some sweet potato vines alive through the winter. Here we reach out to the spiritual community.
This proved very challenging. There are very few “Christian” churches left in ‘Merica that recognize the Gospels or the Sermon on the Mount (too woke). As we presented our concept of incorporating vine propagation into their church community, we were met with mostly blank stares. “Where do guns come into this? Isn’t this kinda’ gay?” were frequent questions.
We were able to find a few religious communities that would help us keep the vines alive. These were radical and subversive groups, outside of mainstream religious tradition. One community of nuns had the audacity to display a banner that said, “Truly, I say to you, as you did it to one of the least of these my brothers, you did it to me.” I fear that this banner will be torn down in late January by armed goons.
But let’s not get ahead of ourselves. Let’s celebrate the brave men and women who will help keep the vines alive, ensuring food for God’s children next year.
Proactive WLBOTT Response
Although we have great faith in the assistance of our spiritual community, we decided take a proactive measure. At the WLBOTT Agricultural Sciences Labratorium (WASAsaiL), we have taken five cuttings on 11/17/24. The cuttings have been placed in quart milk containers in a 99% solution of dihydrogen monoxide (with trace amounts of calcium carbonate, sodium chloride, sodium bicarbonate, magnesium sulfate, calcium sulfate, sodium sulfate, iron, copper, manganese, potassium, phosphorus, zinc, mulled cider and spices).
The cuttings have been placed under direct 400-watt equivalent (6,000 lumens) 24-hour / day[1] lightening.
[1] Except when SU says, “knock it off.”
