Today we continue with the adventures of our lonely Bachelor Back-40.
Dear Tess,
Thank you so much for your advice. I wanted to bring you along on my Quixotic Cupid Quest (QCQ).
I met with the wonder Essie Goldstein, and she introduced me to some delightful young ladies.
But I don’t want to put the cart before the horse. No real farmer puts the cart before the horse! I plan to go down your matchmaking list in order. I’m off to see what matchmaking looks like in Christian America!
Thanks again for your help. I’ll keep you posted!
– Bachelor Back 40
Dear BB40,
We wish you the best, dear heart!
– Tess
Dear Tess,
So today I began my Christian Potluck Matchmaking search and immediately ran into a problem.
Turns out so many Christians have lost their church home. The only people welcome inside “Christian” churches are flag waving, semi-literate, hate-filled idolaters. And what a doofus is their idol! On a list of idols, I’d have to give it a C-. I could come up with a better idol on a long weekend with nothing but a clogged septic tank and a box of Beanie Babies. – Bachelor Back 40
[ed. note: WLBOTT Words of the Day – TwoFer!]
Apparently to avoid any legal liability, BB40 came across this disclaimer at several churches.
“Any relationship between this church and the teachings of Jesus is purely coincidental, and should not be considered an endorsement by the Church of Guns ‘n tRump.”
This is similar to the way Fox News, for legal purposes, claims not be be news, but entertainment.
Fox’s internal communications were released. The communications showed that its presenters and senior executives privately doubted claims of a stolen election, while Fox continued to broadcast such claims. Other communications showed Fox CEO Suzanne Scott stating that fact-checking such claims would alienate Fox viewers.
Tucker Carlson and Sidney Powell, a Trump lawyer, argued in court that “no reasonable person” should believe what they said—that their statements should not be taken as factual. The messages in the Dominion filing support this position.
In totality, the documents continue to underscore that at its core, Fox News is not a news network. News networks work hard to deliver the truth to their viewers. These documents reveal that Fox News executives and hosts knew the truth and yet they peddled election lies to the audience. And when the handful of hosts and correspondents who have integrity at the channel tried to be honest with viewers, the highest levels of Fox News worked against them.
Ah, the road goes on forever…. Let’s get back to BB40
Dear Tess,
So I did go to a few pot lucks. The people were suspicious and unwelcoming. The vibe was like mayonnaise on white bread.
– Bachelor Back 40
Will There Be a Buffet?
Here’s a summary of BB40’s Christian Nationalist culinary extravaganza:
Second Amendment Surprise Salad: A limp iceberg lettuce base with soggy croutons, drowned in mayonnaise, topped with a bizarre garnish of candy sprinkles and jerky bits.
Patriotic Meatloaf Flag: A dry, overcooked meatloaf dyed with questionable food coloring to resemble the American flag, with chunks of unseasoned Spam as the stars.
Freedom Jello Mold: A wobbly gelatin monstrosity with embedded hot dogs, canned peas, and a layer of cream cheese on top.
Liberty Lasagna: A gloopy casserole where ketchup substitutes for tomato sauce, and slices of American cheese are the only layer holding it all together.
Gunslinger Gravy Dip: A grayish, greasy dip made from mystery meat drippings, served with broken crackers and burnt toast triangles.
Power Potato Salad: Over-boiled potatoes swimming in a vinegary mustard mix with chunks of pickled eggs and unidentifiable meats.
Dessert Disaster: A sugar-heavy “Pledge of Allegiance Pudding” made with condensed milk, Kool-Aid powder, and stale Twinkies mashed into a layer.
Freedom Jello Mold
Patriotic Meatloaf Flag
References
There are still some good guys out there….
Red-Letter Christians is a non-denominational movement within Evangelical Christianity. “Red-Letter” refers to New Testament verses and parts of verses printed in red ink, to indicate the words attributed to Jesus without the use of quotation marks.
History The organization was founded by Tony Campolo and Shane Claiborne in 2007 with the aim of bringing together evangelicals who believe in the importance of insisting on issues of social justice mentioned by Jesus (in red in some translations of the Bible). They believe Christians should be paying attention to Jesus’s words and example by promoting biblical values such as social justice issues. These issues include the fight against poverty, the defense of peace, building strong families, respecting human rights and welcoming foreigners.
Sadly, Tony Campolo just recently passed away on November 19th, at the age of 89. Tony was a smart, funny, open-minded breath of fresh air, and a thorn in the side of MAGAt evangelicals.
He had an entertaining, insightful, and open discussion with Stephen Colbert. The clip is hard to find, but you can watch it on this Facebook page: https://fb.watch/w1wQ1r2qs9/
In this clip, Tony tells a modern parable about ice cream and horse manure. Well worth the watch!
On a personal level, I realized that when Tony talked with Stephen Colbert, he was older than I am now! God’s way of saying, “UC#4 – get off your ass!”
Anthony Campolo Jr. (February 25, 1935 – November 19, 2024) was an American sociologist, Baptist pastor, author, public speaker, and spiritual advisor to U.S. President Bill Clinton. Campolo was an influential leader in the evangelical left. Campolo was a popular commentator on religious, political, and social issues, and had been a guest on programs such as The Colbert Report, The Charlie Rose Show, Larry King Live, Nightline, Crossfire, Politically Incorrect and The Hour.
