WLBOTT Corporate Headquarters
FOR IMMEDIATE RELEASE
2025-01-07 4:09AM CST
WLBOTT declares a snow day. All corporate facilities will be closed with the exception of:
- Cheese aging and curd separation facility
- WLBOTT Disco Inferno Bistro
- Tess Twinehart will be working from home on her advice for the lovelorn column
A few notes on the WLBOTT locations:
- Cawker City, KS: home of the World’s Largest Ball of Twine
- Austin, MN: home to the Spam museum
- Epping Forest, Tasmania: the ever-elusive UC#3’s exact whereabouts are unknown, but believed to be Epping Forest (or maybe he was saying ‘F’ing Forest’, being lost in the woods and chased by wolverines at the time).
Please remain productive and consider how you will increase shareholder value today.
Employee-Submitted Photos: Enjoying the Unpaid Snow Day
Many dedicated and enthusiastic employees wanted to come to work today, so we were forced to post guards.
