The First 34

America: Equal justice for all, etc., etc., etc.

So, knowing that we’ll get a pass on our first 34 felonies, the concept of felonies is starting to burn a hole our pocket (i.e. arson). Equal justice for all, and so on and so forth.

Since (according to our supreme court) WLBOTT is legally a person, does that give us another 34 free felonies?

We thought we’d select from a list of fun felonies, but Google, being an upstanding corporate citizen, was having none of it:

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Elder G was a little more flexible:

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Always be Aware of your Jurisdiction

Bottom Line on Common Felonies

As you can see, there is a vast array of crimes that can be considered a felony. The confusing part is that many of these crimes can also be considered misdemeanors, and that distinction often is determined by which jurisdiction the crime was committed.

Also, some crimes that may be considered misdemeanors by first-time offenders are escalated up to felonies if committed more than once by the same perpetrator.

Felonies Dot Org

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I guess we’re not as sociopathic as we thought. We don’t want to hurt anyone, or distribute poison, or steal from widows and orphans.

But some activities seem attractive to our new Ne’er-do-well^[1] lifestyle.

With the help of Elder G, we have a few ideas:

• Improper Use of Weather Balloons (we’ll leave it to your imagination)
• Conspiring to obtain a bald eagle is illegal, and the law treats conspiracy to violate federal wildlife protections just as seriously as committing the actual offense. This falls under the broader category of conspiracy laws
• Throwing eggs at our neighbor’s mailbox likely wouldn’t rise to the level of a felony, but it could still be illegal and have consequences depending on the circumstances. Mailboxes are considered federal property under 18 U.S. Code § 1705, and willfully damaging them is a federal crime.
• Throwing bald eagle eggs at your neighbor’s mailbox would escalate things to a whole new level of illegal culpability.
  • Violating Federal Wildlife Protection Laws
    • Bald eagle eggs are protected under the Bald and Golden Eagle Protection Act and the Migratory Bird Treaty Act. These laws prohibit:
      • Taking, possessing, or destroying bald eagle eggs.
      • Harassing or disturbing bald eagles or their nests, which includes egg theft.
    • Penalties for these violations include:
      • Fines up to $100,000 for individuals and $200,000 for organizations.
      • Up to one year in prison for a first offense.
  • Federal Mailbox Protection
    • Damaging a mailbox with anything, let alone bald eagle eggs, violates 18 U.S. Code § 1705, making it a federal offense with penalties of:
      • Fines up to $250,000.
      • Up to three years in prison.
  • In Conclusion
    Throwing bald eagle eggs at a mailbox is not just wildly illegal—it’s a masterclass in bad decision-making.

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^[1] WLBOTT Word-of-the-Day

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Governments implement criminal statutes to keep society civil. They also use the power of the felony to maintain their own power.

WLBOTT: Please be assured that I don’t plan on doing anything illegal. But I am interested in government overreach that treats acts of civil disobedience as a felony. Do you have some historical examples?

ELDER G: Certainly, historical examples of the American government treating acts of civil disobedience as felonies often highlight the tension between laws designed to maintain order and the moral imperative of individuals or groups to resist perceived injustice. Here are some notable examples:

1. The Fugitive Slave Act (1850s, United States)

What Happened: This law made it a federal crime to assist escaped enslaved people or obstruct their capture, with penalties including fines and imprisonment. Abolitionists who helped people escape slavery via the Underground Railroad were frequently prosecuted, and some faced felony charges.

Government Overreach: The law criminalized acts of basic human decency, such as providing food or shelter to escapees.

Notable Example: Abolitionist Thomas Garrett was fined heavily under this law for helping enslaved people escape.

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2. The Sedition Act (1918, United States)

What Happened: Enacted during World War I, the Sedition Act made it a felony to criticize the government, the Constitution, or the military. Many acts of peaceful protest, such as distributing anti-war pamphlets, were prosecuted as felonies.

Government Overreach: The act was used to suppress dissent and silence activists.

Notable Example: Socialist leader Eugene V. Debs was sentenced to 10 years in prison for delivering an anti-war speech.

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3. The Civil Rights Movement (1950s–60s, United States)

What Happened: Nonviolent civil disobedience, such as sit-ins, freedom rides, and marches, was often treated as a criminal offense. Some protesters faced felony charges like incitement to riot or unlawful assembly.

Government Overreach: Harsh penalties were used to suppress peaceful activism.

Notable Example: The Selma to Montgomery marches led to the arrest of activists like Dr. Martin Luther King Jr., often under questionable legal pretenses.

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4. Anti-Vietnam War Protests (1960s–70s, United States)

What Happened: Protesters were often charged with felonies like inciting riots or draft evasion for acts of civil disobedience such as burning draft cards.

Government Overreach: Laws like the Selective Service Act were enforced harshly to stifle opposition to the war.

Notable Example: The Chicago Seven faced felony charges of conspiracy and inciting a riot after protesting the 1968 Democratic National Convention.

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5. Environmental Activism (Ongoing, Worldwide)

What Happened: Protesters engaging in civil disobedience, like chaining themselves to trees or blocking pipelines, have increasingly faced felony charges under anti-terrorism or critical infrastructure laws.

Government Overreach: Critics argue that such laws are designed to intimidate and suppress legitimate environmental concerns.

Notable Example: Activists opposing the Dakota Access Pipeline faced harsh penalties and felony charges for peaceful protest.

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Themes in Overreach

• Governments often expand the definition of “threats” to include peaceful dissent.
• Laws criminalizing acts of conscience disproportionately impact marginalized communities.
• Overreach often triggers public backlash and, sometimes, legal reforms.

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Heroes Who Stood Up To The Man

Let’s celebrate a pair of heroic American nuns.

Sister Anne Montgomery

Sister Anne Montgomery RSCJ (20 November 1926 – 27 August 2012) was an American non-violent activist, educator, nun, and poet who was part of the Plowshares movement. Aside from teaching, she worked with the poor, and advocated for peace via the Catholic Worker Movement.

She was a member of the original Plowshares Eight in the first Plowshares action in 1980. Anne Montgomery House in Washington, D.C., run by the Society of the Sacred Heart, is named for her.

Some members of the movement damaged nuclear weapons and military bases to directly disarm the facilities. Montgomery was among the first that were arrested for these acts, and served time in prison. She participated in several other Plowshares movement actions, including one in 2009, at the age of 83. She was best known for insisting that her work was not civil disobedience, but divine obedience.

Wikipedia

Obituary for Sr. Anne Montgomery

Sr. Anne Montgomery, Plowshares leader against nuclear weapons, dies

Montgomery was born Nov. 30, 1926, in San Diego to Rear Adm. Alfred E. and Alice Smith Montgomery. Her brother, Brook, preceded her in death.

The family moved several times during Montgomery’s childhood before settling in Pennsylvania. She joined the Society of the Sacred Heart in Albany, N.Y., in 1948, professing final vows in 1956.

“Thomas Merton said it best that the highest obligation of Christian discipleship is the abolition of nuclear war taking the precedence over everything else. And she understood that,” said John Schuchardt, who joined Montgomery as one of the Plowshares 8 in 1980 at the former General Electric nuclear weapons plant in King of Prussia, Pa., where they hammered on nuclear missile casings.

She taught at several Sacred Heart-run schools, including those in New York City and Albany, where she experienced the challenges faced by poor and minority people. In 1975, Montgomery completed training to work with children with learning disabilities and returned to New York to work with school dropouts in East Harlem.

The work led her to the Catholic Worker in New York and to the Little Sisters of the Assumption. By 1980, she moved into full-time ministry as a peace advocate, becoming known among faith-based activists on both the East and West coasts.

National Catholic Reporter

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Sister Megan Rice

Sister Megan Rice was an American nun and anti-nuclear activist.

In 2012, who, at the age of 82, she and fellow activists Michael Walli and Greg Boertje-Obed, infiltrated the Y-12 National Security Complex in Oak Ridge, Tennessee—a facility housing bomb-grade uranium. Their protest, part of the “Transform Now Plowshares” movement, involved spray-painting anti-war slogans and splashing human blood on the facility’s walls to symbolize the call to “beat swords into plowshares” from the Bible.

In 2013, Sister Rice was convicted and sentenced to nearly three years in prison, while her co-defendants received sentences exceeding five years.

WLBOTT: Is this the nun who was mentioned in the book “Orange is the New Black?”

Elder G: Yes, Sister Megan Rice is the nun referenced in Orange Is the New Black: My Year in a Women’s Prison by Piper Kerman. In the book, Kerman describes a nun in her prison who had been involved in anti-nuclear protests. While the character in the memoir is fictionalized, Sister Megan Rice’s real-life activism and imprisonment for protesting against nuclear weapons clearly align with this portrayal.

Sister Megan Rice became a prominent figure in the anti-nuclear movement, and her peaceful but dramatic acts of civil disobedience, including her imprisonment, resonate with the themes of justice, nonviolence, and protest that Kerman touched on in her memoir. The connection between Sister Megan Rice’s story and Orange Is the New Black serves as a compelling reminder of how activism can intersect with the criminal justice system.

Semi-Sequitur: The Actress Who Portrayed Sr. Megan Rice

Elder G honors Sr. Megan

Sister Megan’s courage and the dignity she carried, even in prison, is a testament to the human spirit. It’s no wonder her image in that setting evokes such strong emotions. Her life story reminds us that even in the face of overwhelming opposition, acts of protest can be powerful, meaningful, and deeply humane.

Obituary for Sr. Megan Rice

Sister Megan Rice, Fierce Critic of U.S. Nuclear Arsenal, Dies at 91

Megan Gillespie Rice, who pronounced her first name MEE-gan, was born on Jan. 31, 1930, in the Morningside Heights section of Manhattan, to a family deeply involved in the Catholic progressive movement. Her father, Frederick Rice, was an obstetrician-gynecologist, and her mother, Madeleine Newman Hooke Rice, was a homemaker who later received a doctorate in history from Columbia.

Both of her parents were active in the Catholic worker movement and were close friends with its founder, Dorothy Day, who Sister Rice remembered visiting her family’s home in Morningside Heights.

Megan joined the Society of the Holy Child Jesus in 1947 and took her final vows in 1955. She studied biology at Villanova University, and received a master’s degree in cellular biology from Boston College. She then moved to Africa, where she taught in elementary and secondary schools in Nigeria and Ghana.

New York Times

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Bob Dylan captures it perfectly in his song “When I Paint My Masterpiece.”

Newspaper men eating candy
Had to be held down by big police
But someday, everything's gonna be different
When I paint that masterpiece

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Encore by Bob Dylan