- Today is the day the toilet won’t flush
- Today is the day you get the biopsy results
- Today is the day you find fire ants in the laundry hamper
- Today is the day you get the letter from the IRS
- Today is the day your kid throws up in your shoes ten minutes before your zoom presentation
- Today is the day the check-engine light comes on
- Today is the day you accidentally find your best friend’s prescription pills
- Today is the day you realize you will be long dead before the system gets fixed
- Today is the day she wants to show you something
- Today is the day you realize you forgot to cancel The Post and it has auto-renewed
- Today is the day that you find out your long-time go-to hero may, in fact, be a psychopath
- Today is the day you finally, finally ask yourself, “What’s in it for me?”
- Today is the day that you realize that, though technically not dead, God might be looking for a more reasonable species to invest his/her energies
- Today is the day the coffee tastes funny
- Today is the day you wonder if there is no “next right thing” to do
Today is the day you want to give up hope
